I haven’t been a scout for very long. Being honest, it took me forever to pluck up the courage to join. My mom always tells me I’m too timid for my own good… and she’s probably right, because when I finally feel brave enough to sign up for something, I usually really enjoy it. She always makes me go to everything twice, because the first time I go, I’m always too nervous to speak to anyone. I get tongue-tied and embarrassed and have a pretty lousy time. The second time is always better. Then I can’t remember why I was ever worried… It was like that with the Scouts. The first meeting was horrible, but now I love it. I’ve made amazing friends and learned all sorts of useful skills. The Scoutleaders are great. They know everything about everything. My favorite is Scoutmaster Dietrich. He’s really tall and really kind and really fast at tying knots! The problem is that I don’t think he knows my name! I’m not one of his favourites. He keeps taking the same few boys on hikes and missions. And every time I’m not picked, I feel this pang of… I dunno, like jealousy, I guess. I’ve tried and tried to get him to notice me; to look smarter and work harder than the other boys. I’ve earned a stack of badges in almost lighting time… But he’s never picked me. Until last week… We came out to the woods for a three-day camping trip. As usual, Scoutmaster Dietrich selected the same two boys for one-on-one activities and, as usual, I felt invisible. But one night, as we were sitting around the fire, I kinda caught him looking at me. I looked back and he held my gaze, and it was really, I dunno… intense. It was like he was looking into me. I can’t really explain it. It made me blush. Every time I looked over, he’d catch my eye and sort of half smile… The next morning over breakfast, he made an announcement. He said he was off to collect firewood, and then he looked right at me; ‘Jack, isn’t it? Do you want to join me?’ Of course, I immediately got all tongue tied. I guess I was a bit shocked that he suddenly knew my name, but most of all, I just felt really excited that he’d chosen me to help him. I nodded, and made weird noises. I don’t know what came out, but the others laughed and I felt like a prick. Dietrich laughed as well, then gestured at me to follow him… We walked for a long way. I kept seeing bits of wood which I thought would be great for the fire, but we didn’t seem to be collecting anything. At one point he stopped and told me he needed to pee. Then he disappeared into the trees. I genuinely don’t know what came over me, but I had this overwhelming urge to see how big his penis was. I guess I just wondered if someone that tall would have, you know… a particularly big one! So, I crept into the trees, thinking that if Dietrich noticed, I’d tell him I needed a pee as well. He was standing next to a tree, but I couldn't see what I wanted to see so I got a little closer, which, of course, was a massive mistake. I stepped on a branch which made a huge cracking sound. He spun around and I was mortified… He didn’t actually seem that bothered. In fact, he just laughed and told me if I wanted to look, I needed to come closer. I couldn’t tell if he was serious, so I just stood there, frozen to the spot. He smiled again and said ‘come on…’ so I just sort of shuffled over. Then he asked if I wanted to touch it! Touch it! I didn’t know where to look… I mean, that’s kinda gay, right? But the thing is I really wanted to touch it. I wanted to know how it felt. So I gave it a squeeze and he smiled, then said, “well it’s only fair I get to see yours now…” And then I felt all embarrassed again, assuming it was some sort of trick. But he was smiling and everything seemed pretty cool, so I unzipped my shorts and pulled it out, wondering what the hell the other scouts would say if they saw us. Then he reached over and touched it and I held my breath because it felt really good. So I touched his again, then held it like he was holding mine.